What to expect from counselling as a man
A lot of men put off counselling because they don't really know what they'd be walking into. The not-knowing is half the barrier. So here's a straight rundown of what it's really like — and what it isn't.
What it isn't
You won't be lying on a couch like in the movies. You won't be psychoanalysed or have your childhood pulled apart against your will. You won't be judged, talked down to or pushed to cry on cue. And you won't be handed a diagnosis and sent off. If that's the picture in your head, you can let it go.
What it actually is
It's a conversation — a practical one. You talk about what's going on, and the counsellor helps you make sense of it and work out what to do. It moves at your pace. You decide how much you want to get into, and when. Some sessions are about practical tools for handling stress or anxiety; others go a bit deeper into what's underneath. Often it's both.
It's also confidential, which for a lot of men is the point: it’s a place to say the things you can't say anywhere else, without it getting back to anyone or being used against you later on.
The first session
The first session is mostly about getting the lay of the land. You'll talk through what brought you in, the counsellor will ask some questions and together you'll get a sense of what's going on and how the work might help. There's no pressure to spill everything in the first hour. It's a chance for you to suss out whether it feels like a fit as much as anything else.
Why it can be easier with a male counsellor
There aren't many male counsellors around, and for a lot of men it's simply easier to talk things through with another bloke — someone who gets where you're coming from and won't make things weird. It can take the edge off that first conversation.
You don't have to have it all worked out
You don't need to know exactly what's wrong or how to explain it. "Something's not right and I'm sick of it" is a perfectly good place to start. The working-out is the job — that's what you're there for.
If you've been thinking about it, men's counselling in Adelaide or online is a low-pressure place to begin. A first conversation doesn't commit you to anything except finding out whether it helps.