Unhooking from Anxious Thoughts
If you struggle with anxiety, you’ll know how quickly the mind can start spinning stories:
What if something goes wrong?
What if I can’t cope?
What if this never ends?
These thoughts often arrive with a sense of urgency, as if they need to be solved right away. Many people respond by trying to push the thoughts away—only to find that they come back stronger. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a different approach called defusion. Rather than trying to control anxious thoughts, we can change our relationship to them so they have less power over us.
One of the most important things to understand about anxious thoughts is this: your mind isn’t broken, it’s just being protective.
Anxious Thoughts Feel Urgent
Another helpful thing to know is that anxious thoughts feel urgent not necessarily because they’re accurate but because the nervous system is activated.
When the body is in a state of threat, thoughts carry extra emotional weight. They feel loud, important and true. But the intensity comes from the body—not from the truth of the thought.
The Mind is a Great Storyteller
The mind has evolved to keep us safe by anticipating danger. It does this by telling stories about the future. When anxiety is present, those stories tend to take the form of ‘what if?’ scenarios.
The mind is like a great storyteller—creative, persuasive and emotionally compelling. But the thing with any great storyteller is this: their stories might not be completely true.
The problem isn’t the stories themselves, it’s that we get hooked by them. Once hooked, we don’t just notice the story or thought—we step inside it and fuse with it.
The Sushi Train Example
A useful way to practise defusion is to imagine your thoughts as plates moving past on a sushi train.
You’re sitting comfortably at the table. In front of you, the train keeps moving: plate after plate drifting by. Each plate is a thought.
Some are pleasant: ‘I’m looking forward to the weekend’
Some are repetitive: ‘I’m hungry’
Some are anxiety-flavoured: ‘What if something goes wrong?!’’
You don’t have to push the plate off the train. You don’t have to pick it up. Just notice it and let it pass by. The sushi train keeps moving with all kinds of different plates and that’s okay. You can even say to yourself:
‘That’s another “what if” thought. Thanks mind!’
You Don’t Need a Quiet Mind to Live Well
One of the biggest misunderstandings about anxiety is the idea that we need to get rid of anxious thoughts before we can live fully. The goal isn’t to eliminate or change thoughts or calm the mind at all costs. It’s to develop flexibility—the ability to let thoughts come and go without getting hooked.