Stopping the Struggle with Anxiety
When anxiety shows up, most people do the same thing: they struggle against it. Have you found yourself doing any of the following?
Pushing it away
Forcing yourself to calm down
Trying to control your thoughts
Jumping to a distraction
Beating yourself up because you shouldn’t feel this way
These responses are understandable. After all, anxiety is uncomfortable. We naturally want to avoid discomfort.
The problem is that this struggle often keeps anxiety going.
The quicksand example
Imagine you’re walking along and suddenly step into quicksand. Your first instinct is to panic and fight. You struggle and try to pull yourself out. But that’s exactly what makes you sink. The more you struggle, the deeper you go.
Although it’s counterintuitive, the solution to quicksand isn’t to fight harder. You need to stop struggling, let go and lean back into it. Anxiety works in a similar way.
When you fight against anxiety, you add more tension to an activated nervous system. This tells the body that something dangerous is happening, which pulls you deeper into the anxious state.
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up or resigning yourself to anxiety forever. It simply means changing how you respond.
Making space for anxiety
Instead of struggling against your inner experience, see if you can make space for it. This starts by gently turning your attention towards the body with curiosity instead of judgement. You might become aware of:
Tightness in the chest or throat
A knot or fluttering in the stomach
Restlessness, buzzing, or heat
A racing heart or shallow breathing
Rather than trying to push these sensations away, try just allowing them to be there. You might silently say:
‘Okay. This is anxiety.
I don’t need to struggle with this right now.’
Imagine breathing into and around the sensation, making some space for it. The trick is to be aware of the feeling without judging it.
This approach can feel strange at first. Many people worry that if they stop trying to control anxiety it will overwhelm them. But in practice, anxiety often eases up when it’s no longer being fought or silenced.
This doesn’t mean anxiety vanishes instantly. Sometimes it stays for a while. But your experience changes when your attitude towards anxiety changes. You can choose to make space for it and take action anyway.